The good news is that I've realized that most of the tragedies in my life could be covered in a half hour sit-com.
There's maybe one Lifetime movie for a slow week in February, but definitely no black and white documentaries or movies starring Sally Field as me looking back at epic times.
I'm not sure if this is the result of edited thinking on my part--"Oh, I really wasn't that weird"--which you could make an argument for, or just the realization that so many other lives around the world have been so much harder.
What I do realize now is how much of what looked like courage was mainly a lack of awareness of possibility. As one friend of mine, a policeman, told me once, "You don't think anything bad is going to happen to you because nothing bad has happened to you so far."
Old age takes courage. Partly because there are so many possibilities for things to go wrong when you're old. I forgot something in Sunday School last week so I rush home to put Post-its on everything so I can remember the names for table, blender, sink. I need a new knee so, quite naturally, I assume I'm going to die under anesthesia when my heart stops on the operating table.
I remember all the times I've looked at bitter old people and told myself that their problems were the result of bad choices. An extra bite of ice cream, choosing the remote over tennis shoes, choosing work over home?
No wait, I can remember some of those choices as being my choices! Are people going to gloat over my infirmities? Well, probably, yes. Because that's the nature of the game.
What I now realize is that the immunity of youth to assumed disaster is a good thing. A thinking I may have to push myself to adopt, however, as I watch my kids pull away in their cars to go home (Black ice? Drunk drivers?)
Courage is being brave when you're scared. People who jump off the high dive without looking aren't brave, they're stupid. People who laugh when their heart's beating too fast are brave.
There's maybe one Lifetime movie for a slow week in February, but definitely no black and white documentaries or movies starring Sally Field as me looking back at epic times.
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| This is how I wish I felt about snow! |
What I do realize now is how much of what looked like courage was mainly a lack of awareness of possibility. As one friend of mine, a policeman, told me once, "You don't think anything bad is going to happen to you because nothing bad has happened to you so far."
Old age takes courage. Partly because there are so many possibilities for things to go wrong when you're old. I forgot something in Sunday School last week so I rush home to put Post-its on everything so I can remember the names for table, blender, sink. I need a new knee so, quite naturally, I assume I'm going to die under anesthesia when my heart stops on the operating table.
I remember all the times I've looked at bitter old people and told myself that their problems were the result of bad choices. An extra bite of ice cream, choosing the remote over tennis shoes, choosing work over home?
No wait, I can remember some of those choices as being my choices! Are people going to gloat over my infirmities? Well, probably, yes. Because that's the nature of the game.
What I now realize is that the immunity of youth to assumed disaster is a good thing. A thinking I may have to push myself to adopt, however, as I watch my kids pull away in their cars to go home (Black ice? Drunk drivers?)
Courage is being brave when you're scared. People who jump off the high dive without looking aren't brave, they're stupid. People who laugh when their heart's beating too fast are brave.
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