I hit my head last week walking the dog. I tripped in the dark on a piece of upheaved sidewalk that was in the shadow of a tree. I was looking in people's windows ,watching them cook dinner, sit around the kitchen table with family. I love that. All the insides look so warm and homey at night with the yellow light shining out into the dark. It's really surprising how many people leave their curtains open!
I feel like I need to explain that this accident was not specifically age related. I feel like there’s a subtext to anything that happens to me now that I'm in my sixties.
Did I temporarily loose consciousness? Did my osteoporotic bones collapse under me?
“Oh, no! I didn’t trip because I don’t see well enough! I just wasn’t watching where I was going!”
Did I forget where I was going? If I’m that absent minded, am I ok being alone?
I need to not assume that everything that happens to me is because I'm old. I think I'm just extremely self-conscious about being newly old. Like when I turned thirty; I felt like everyone was looking at me because they couldn't believe they were meeting someone who had actually lived to see thirty.
The fall left me with a slight concussion which is making me a little fuzzy and I've had a prize winning case of nausea.
I also pushed my shoulders out of whack when I fell, sprained my wrists, and skinned my hands fairly well. But my wrist swelling is going down, I haven't had a headache for two days now, and yesterday I could eat as long as it was bread and butter and chicken soup. Plus, yay for Neosporin because the scrapes are healing faster than the swelling.
I'm trying to remember that this is ordinary life. Things happen.
I'm trying to remember that I believe there's a plan and a purpose to everything.
I'm trying to just relax, read the paper, knock out a couple of novels I've wanted to read, watch a little Netflix.
I'm trying to remember I'll miss this when things pick up. It's like summer vacation with the kids though; nobody figures out what to do with the time until August when it's almost over.
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