Make Grandma Mow Her Own Lawn This Week

Like many people, I hope I’m not an idiot.

Unlike younger people, I have to wonder if I’m an idiot and don’t know it.

That’s because the bar is so low for old people. And although I hate to point fingers, it’s your fault, young people. You don’t expect old people to keep up.

People tell ten-year olds all the time to get up off their rear and get the lawn mowed. No one says that to grandmothers and you know why? They feel sorry for them. Imagine belonging to a group that everyone thinks is pitiful. It’s like being an infant, without the adorable part.

The worst is that when you’re old, people want to show you how grateful they are by helping you. And, frankly, it’s just so great to let everyone else do the work.

But I am rediscovering the fact that I have a body that works and that I can use it.

When you’re old, there are so many strikes against you. We may be carrying the equivalent of a hefty fourth grader under our elastic waistbands.

We need knee surgery, hip surgery, by-passes. We can be bored, lonely, depressed, but who isn’t? It was different when everything was ahead of you and not in the rear view mirror.

In Utah County where the average age is twelve, someone has to carry the old age flag. Sure we’re going to feel silly riding a bike to the snow cone place with ten-year olds, but they’re not bored, lonely, or depressed either.

The most recent issue of the little AARP newsletter you automatically get when you cross the threshold to death says the best thing for us oldsters is to get out there and start getting really sweaty.

Our children are taking over the world! Our world, the world that has belonged to you and me since WW II.

Don’t let it happen. Get out there and mow the lawn, walk to the store, tote that barge, lift that bail, bend, lift, stretch, whatever it takes.

Do not “go gentle into that good night” until you smell really stinky.