Happy Thanksgiving Day—A How-To Guide
This is the “thanksy” time of year. The time of year at which we all demonstrate our desire to be grateful, grateful, grateful for all the many little blessings that we have all around us. If we’re stuck, we can be grateful for the obvious: penicillin, tooth paste, and, inevitably, living in a free country. None of which, I’d like to add, are things I’m against.
What makes me feel inadequate is when people start talking about all the little things they’re grateful for. Like “a child’s smile,” or “the song of a meadow lark in the morning.” That’s when gratitude starts to feel like a competitive sport. Like bowling or the backyard basketball game “horse.” It can make you feel like you’re not only ungrateful, you’re unpoetic and not very observant.
People start to vie for the most obscure, idiosyncratic gift. The gift that says they’ve been given the most. They’ve been given, dare I say it, MORE than anyone else.
These people are always grateful for the wonderful memories of their mom. They’re thankful for warm cake and extra gravy and clean sheets. Not all of us have wonderful memories of our mom, some of us have moms that were absolute shrews. Some of us ARE moms that are absolute shrews.
Should we be grateful that we’ve never thrown anything heavy that’s hit someone when we tripped over a wagon left on the front porch as we were bringing in six bags of groceries? Probably we should.
Should we feel grateful that we were able to buy a designer dress on e-Bay that will make everyone feel like white trash when we wear it to church? Probably not.
Real gratitude isn’t supposed to include consumer gratitude, unless it’s that we have enough to eat. Having enough to eat is something of a problem for some of us. So, probably we should be grateful for LA Weight Loss. Or Weight Watchers. “I am thankful for Weight Watchers because maybe someday my cholesterol won’t be so high that we have to spend thousands of dollars on my medical bills so that we can afford ‘having enough to eat.’”
That doesn’t sound anything like “I’m grateful for sunshine on a cloudy day.”
I think maybe we’re just grateful for what we’re grateful for. Some things, naturally, sound a little better on the gratefulness scale. Maybe they actually ARE better on a scale from one to ten: nature, simple pleasures, relationships are all fabulous, and probably what you want to talk about in public.
Personally, I like Internet shopping. There are not many things niftier than knowing that in three to five business days, I’ll be getting a new book from Amazon or some new socks…from anywhere.
I love socks. All socks. I can’t really afford them, but I especially love cashmere socks. I’m grateful that they make cashmere socks and that someday, when I have plenty to eat, and my kids are through having kids that I want to buy presents for, I can look forward to wearing cashmere socks. In other words, I am grateful for the ability to anticipate for what I’m hoping to receive, perhaps, via the Internet.
But, just in case Amazon fails me, I’ll start keeping a gratitude journal. In it I will practice appreciating all the right things. I’ll probably include the smell of wet leaves, and having a dog on the front seat of the car, even though it means I have dog hair all over my pants. I’ll include seeing the first crocus, the smell of lilacs, and watching kids meet their first roly-poly bug. I’ll be thankful someone told me that if I fertilized my houseplants they’d grow better.
I’ll be thankful that anyone talks to me at all on days when I’m grumpy.
And, of course, I’ll remember how thankful that I am that I can still make a U-turn on Main Street while talking on the phone because I’m a Utah driver. :)
What makes me feel inadequate is when people start talking about all the little things they’re grateful for. Like “a child’s smile,” or “the song of a meadow lark in the morning.” That’s when gratitude starts to feel like a competitive sport. Like bowling or the backyard basketball game “horse.” It can make you feel like you’re not only ungrateful, you’re unpoetic and not very observant.
People start to vie for the most obscure, idiosyncratic gift. The gift that says they’ve been given the most. They’ve been given, dare I say it, MORE than anyone else.
These people are always grateful for the wonderful memories of their mom. They’re thankful for warm cake and extra gravy and clean sheets. Not all of us have wonderful memories of our mom, some of us have moms that were absolute shrews. Some of us ARE moms that are absolute shrews.
Should we be grateful that we’ve never thrown anything heavy that’s hit someone when we tripped over a wagon left on the front porch as we were bringing in six bags of groceries? Probably we should.
Should we feel grateful that we were able to buy a designer dress on e-Bay that will make everyone feel like white trash when we wear it to church? Probably not.
Real gratitude isn’t supposed to include consumer gratitude, unless it’s that we have enough to eat. Having enough to eat is something of a problem for some of us. So, probably we should be grateful for LA Weight Loss. Or Weight Watchers. “I am thankful for Weight Watchers because maybe someday my cholesterol won’t be so high that we have to spend thousands of dollars on my medical bills so that we can afford ‘having enough to eat.’”
That doesn’t sound anything like “I’m grateful for sunshine on a cloudy day.”
I think maybe we’re just grateful for what we’re grateful for. Some things, naturally, sound a little better on the gratefulness scale. Maybe they actually ARE better on a scale from one to ten: nature, simple pleasures, relationships are all fabulous, and probably what you want to talk about in public.
Personally, I like Internet shopping. There are not many things niftier than knowing that in three to five business days, I’ll be getting a new book from Amazon or some new socks…from anywhere.
I love socks. All socks. I can’t really afford them, but I especially love cashmere socks. I’m grateful that they make cashmere socks and that someday, when I have plenty to eat, and my kids are through having kids that I want to buy presents for, I can look forward to wearing cashmere socks. In other words, I am grateful for the ability to anticipate for what I’m hoping to receive, perhaps, via the Internet.
But, just in case Amazon fails me, I’ll start keeping a gratitude journal. In it I will practice appreciating all the right things. I’ll probably include the smell of wet leaves, and having a dog on the front seat of the car, even though it means I have dog hair all over my pants. I’ll include seeing the first crocus, the smell of lilacs, and watching kids meet their first roly-poly bug. I’ll be thankful someone told me that if I fertilized my houseplants they’d grow better.
I’ll be thankful that anyone talks to me at all on days when I’m grumpy.
And, of course, I’ll remember how thankful that I am that I can still make a U-turn on Main Street while talking on the phone because I’m a Utah driver. :)
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