A Pointed Look at Old Age
What’s the point of old age? Inquiring minds want to know!
Well, for one thing, it certainly makes being young look better. Even if you’re an ugly young person, doesn’t it make you feel better to look at a wrinkled old person and think, “At least I don’t look like that!?”
As an old person, young people look a lot prettier to me than when I was one of them. Your face doesn’t have that saggy, baggy, brown-spot thing going on that mine does.
So why bother having old people if they’re grumpy and lumpy and ugly? There are reasons, but honestly you have to look hard.
For one, old people don’t have anything to do so they’re always glad to see you. Just kidding. They’re not always glad, but they should be because they should be grateful that anyone wants them anymore.
But occasionally, if you’ve already read the paper and there’s nothing good on TV, it’s nice to see the grandkids. They are just so darn cute, and they remind you of yourself when you were young. It’s a good chance to remember that no matter how awful you were, you’re genes will at least get another shot at doing something worth while.
Old people should provide perspective. They should say things like, “Oh, it’s not so important that you make tons of money, what really matters is your family and how you’ve lived your life.” Of course, you might want to catch them right after their Social Security check comes so it feels like there’s a little bit in the coffer. Later in the month, they may be a little ticked off that they didn’t save more and give you the Go Out and Grab All You Can speech. It’s going to be a toss-up there.
It’s important when you’re old to just be yourself. When you burp all the time and can’t see the hairs growing out of your chin and you heave-ho every time you get out of a chair, it’s good to be natural, good to be okay with who you are. And that should be a lesson to younger people: no matter how disgusting you are, it’s okay to take up space.
I know my grandkids feel that. When we were dozing off last week, my three-year-old grandson patted my leg and said, “Don’t snore, just breathe.”
And, wow, passing on those old stories about the family? You don’t want to miss that. Isn’t it funny how some stories just keep sneaking up on you: like the time we lost the farm? About how much gumption it took to get a job in the old days. About how much a dozen eggs cost, a loaf of bread, and we wouldn’t want to forget: how much you made an hour when you first started working. You minimum wage trash younger people don’t know real hardship is. It’s good to be reminded that no matter how much you try, you will never be able to beat the old days for trouble.
And genealogy. Well, I won’t bore you with how important it is to hear all about genealogy.
And so, in conclusion, we can all see that we older folk play an important role in society. Actually, if someone wanted to share with me what that is, I’d be willing to get up off the couch and make a glass of lemonade for them. I’ve certainly got lemons.
Well, for one thing, it certainly makes being young look better. Even if you’re an ugly young person, doesn’t it make you feel better to look at a wrinkled old person and think, “At least I don’t look like that!?”
As an old person, young people look a lot prettier to me than when I was one of them. Your face doesn’t have that saggy, baggy, brown-spot thing going on that mine does.
So why bother having old people if they’re grumpy and lumpy and ugly? There are reasons, but honestly you have to look hard.
For one, old people don’t have anything to do so they’re always glad to see you. Just kidding. They’re not always glad, but they should be because they should be grateful that anyone wants them anymore.
But occasionally, if you’ve already read the paper and there’s nothing good on TV, it’s nice to see the grandkids. They are just so darn cute, and they remind you of yourself when you were young. It’s a good chance to remember that no matter how awful you were, you’re genes will at least get another shot at doing something worth while.
Old people should provide perspective. They should say things like, “Oh, it’s not so important that you make tons of money, what really matters is your family and how you’ve lived your life.” Of course, you might want to catch them right after their Social Security check comes so it feels like there’s a little bit in the coffer. Later in the month, they may be a little ticked off that they didn’t save more and give you the Go Out and Grab All You Can speech. It’s going to be a toss-up there.
It’s important when you’re old to just be yourself. When you burp all the time and can’t see the hairs growing out of your chin and you heave-ho every time you get out of a chair, it’s good to be natural, good to be okay with who you are. And that should be a lesson to younger people: no matter how disgusting you are, it’s okay to take up space.
I know my grandkids feel that. When we were dozing off last week, my three-year-old grandson patted my leg and said, “Don’t snore, just breathe.”
And, wow, passing on those old stories about the family? You don’t want to miss that. Isn’t it funny how some stories just keep sneaking up on you: like the time we lost the farm? About how much gumption it took to get a job in the old days. About how much a dozen eggs cost, a loaf of bread, and we wouldn’t want to forget: how much you made an hour when you first started working. You minimum wage trash younger people don’t know real hardship is. It’s good to be reminded that no matter how much you try, you will never be able to beat the old days for trouble.
And genealogy. Well, I won’t bore you with how important it is to hear all about genealogy.
And so, in conclusion, we can all see that we older folk play an important role in society. Actually, if someone wanted to share with me what that is, I’d be willing to get up off the couch and make a glass of lemonade for them. I’ve certainly got lemons.
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