Is This the Little Boy at Play
May 24, 2000
“Fiddler on the Roof” is opening this week at the Springville Villa Theater. In case there is someone out there who hasn’t yet seen this brilliant play, I’ll remind you that “Fiddler” is about a father with three daughters who lets each of them go, one by one, with the man of her dreams. And with each daughter, the father is forced to give up one of the traditions he holds sacred.
One daughter picks the young man she loves rather than accept the choice the matchmaker has made for her. Another daughter marries a young communist who moves her away from her family and finally, the last daughter wants to marry outside their Jewish faith. This is the one tradition he cannot let go and he disowns his daughter. However, at the end of the show, he begins to reconcile even with her.
At the wedding of his first daughter, Tevya and his wife Golda sing a song about their wonder that their daughter has become a woman; “Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I can’t remember growing older, when did they?”
I remember so well walking down a street in Logan almost ten years ago with my daughter, who was a student at USU, and a group of her friends. Ahead of us was a young engineering student in cowboy boots, a friend of a friend, who taught swing dancing in the evenings. My daughter, the confirmed career woman, said, “Doesn’t he look cute in blue jeans?”
And now, of course, that’s who she’s married to ten years later.
Like the father in “Fiddler on the Roof,” I have traditions I don’t want to let go of and I wonder right now who my sons are looking at and thinking, “Doesn’t she look cute in those blue jeans?”
So, I’ve made a checklist for my younger boys, based on their older brothers and sister, who have wonderful spouses and great marriages, because I’m already starting to get nervous. I know these things just come upon us waaaaay before we’re ready and I want something for them to shoot for. Here is my marriage checklist. These are the things I like in the spouses of the older kids that I hope the younger ones can find in their spouses.
1) A great sense of humor. My daughter-in-law, Paige, is a great conversationalist and one of the things that she’s able to do is laugh at the things around her that are out of synch. It’s helped them to hold together through some awfully tough times.
2) Commitment. I want them to be committed to their homes and family the same way my daughter-in-law Julie is, who through the many ups and downs of their family life has put her children and husband first and has two great kids who show the results of that dedication.
3) Hard working. I hope they’re hard working like my son-in-law Matt, the cowboy, who is well respected at his job and, in addition, has remodeled the old house they bought up in Salt Lake. He’s done this by staying up late reading about electrical wiring and then going after it with enthusiasm.
4) Straight thinking. I hope they find someone like their dad who is so devoted to doing the right thing that he sometimes drives us all crazy, but in the end, we’re always glad he made us do the right thing.
5) Idealistic. They need someone who’s a good parent, kind-hearted, who shoots for the moon when it comes to what they think the family can do if they put their minds to it.
6) Constant. I also hope they find someone loyal and true, who’s honest even when it’s painful, and who will stick like glue.
None of these qualities are particularly dependent on looks or brains. However, they do depend on traditions that I hope we’re teaching right now.
Like Tevya, I know that we’re going to be surprised by who comes along. It always is a surprise, because, after all, who “looks cute in jeans” to one person is usually completely different to another person. But maybe then, like Tevya, we’ll jut start a new tradition.
“Fiddler on the Roof” is opening this week at the Springville Villa Theater. In case there is someone out there who hasn’t yet seen this brilliant play, I’ll remind you that “Fiddler” is about a father with three daughters who lets each of them go, one by one, with the man of her dreams. And with each daughter, the father is forced to give up one of the traditions he holds sacred.
One daughter picks the young man she loves rather than accept the choice the matchmaker has made for her. Another daughter marries a young communist who moves her away from her family and finally, the last daughter wants to marry outside their Jewish faith. This is the one tradition he cannot let go and he disowns his daughter. However, at the end of the show, he begins to reconcile even with her.
At the wedding of his first daughter, Tevya and his wife Golda sing a song about their wonder that their daughter has become a woman; “Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I can’t remember growing older, when did they?”
I remember so well walking down a street in Logan almost ten years ago with my daughter, who was a student at USU, and a group of her friends. Ahead of us was a young engineering student in cowboy boots, a friend of a friend, who taught swing dancing in the evenings. My daughter, the confirmed career woman, said, “Doesn’t he look cute in blue jeans?”
And now, of course, that’s who she’s married to ten years later.
Like the father in “Fiddler on the Roof,” I have traditions I don’t want to let go of and I wonder right now who my sons are looking at and thinking, “Doesn’t she look cute in those blue jeans?”
So, I’ve made a checklist for my younger boys, based on their older brothers and sister, who have wonderful spouses and great marriages, because I’m already starting to get nervous. I know these things just come upon us waaaaay before we’re ready and I want something for them to shoot for. Here is my marriage checklist. These are the things I like in the spouses of the older kids that I hope the younger ones can find in their spouses.
1) A great sense of humor. My daughter-in-law, Paige, is a great conversationalist and one of the things that she’s able to do is laugh at the things around her that are out of synch. It’s helped them to hold together through some awfully tough times.
2) Commitment. I want them to be committed to their homes and family the same way my daughter-in-law Julie is, who through the many ups and downs of their family life has put her children and husband first and has two great kids who show the results of that dedication.
3) Hard working. I hope they’re hard working like my son-in-law Matt, the cowboy, who is well respected at his job and, in addition, has remodeled the old house they bought up in Salt Lake. He’s done this by staying up late reading about electrical wiring and then going after it with enthusiasm.
4) Straight thinking. I hope they find someone like their dad who is so devoted to doing the right thing that he sometimes drives us all crazy, but in the end, we’re always glad he made us do the right thing.
5) Idealistic. They need someone who’s a good parent, kind-hearted, who shoots for the moon when it comes to what they think the family can do if they put their minds to it.
6) Constant. I also hope they find someone loyal and true, who’s honest even when it’s painful, and who will stick like glue.
None of these qualities are particularly dependent on looks or brains. However, they do depend on traditions that I hope we’re teaching right now.
Like Tevya, I know that we’re going to be surprised by who comes along. It always is a surprise, because, after all, who “looks cute in jeans” to one person is usually completely different to another person. But maybe then, like Tevya, we’ll jut start a new tradition.
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