Looking back with Lot's Wife

I hope when I die my Judgment Day moment will turn out to be like those pictures of me in ninth grade when I thought I looked so horrible, and in retrospect turned out to look pretty much like all the other ninth grade girls in the world. Not The Ugliest Ninth Grade Girl In The World, which is what I thought I was. That’s all I’m hoping for, I just don’t want to stand out as a sinner. I’m hoping that in comparison to say, Jack the Ripper, who hopefully will be right in front of me in the Judgment Day line, they will say, “Good job. You don’t have to spend the next ten thousand years shoveling coal,” or whatever it is St. Peter's helpers say to Moms Who Didn't Do All the Things The Other Moms Did When They Compared Themselves To Other Moms Who They Thought Were Perfect, Which They Did Constantly. (If that's a category, which it should be.) I’m thinking about this because it’s my birthday and I have a physical coming up soon and, honestly, I feel like I’m get...

This is a column about fear, cream, and New Year’s resolutions. A very wise woman once said to me…actually it was a teacher in a class I went to with a friend at a graduate business school in France, just outside of Paris. Which, of course, is another story entirely. Anyway, she said you should never make a business decision based on fear. So let’s say you want to open a candy shop, but you’re afraid your candy isn’t good enough or that you won’t be able to market it well enough. Or your friends might think you’re an idiot to go into business for yourself “in this economy.” Or, or, or, or. You should really decide whether or not to open a candy business based on what kinds of candy you make well and what you think people will want. You should have confidence that you can make a good business plan and follow through with success, or that you have the good sense to recognize where your plan should be tweaked to make it a success. Maybe you should sell rainwea...

I’m coming right out and saying something about myself as a grandma that my kids have long suspected. I fed three grandkids cookies all day one day last week. I wanted them of my hair and we’d been out of town and there wasn’t a fruit or vegetable to be found anywhere in my kitchen and I was trying to get cookies ready for the neighbors. So there. Now their parents know for sure that what they suspected all along was true. I’m a bad influence. I also kept them up late, and I mean REALLY, seriously late two nights and let them sleep in until 10:30 the next morning. It couldn’t be helped. We had Christmas parties and we were having fun and it took awhile to home and get jammies on. (I almost said it took awhile to get their teeth brushed, but that would be a lie.) I know, the fires of heck are waiting for me. I don’t know how I raised five kids without killing them all. I’m a bad, bad person. On the bright side, no one was hit by a car. Partly becaus...